We would like to share our stories about homeschooling our children who have Asperger's Syndrome, to share information and to help dispel some misconceptions that people may have about homeschooling.
Our Children enjoying an outing at Telus World of Science.
Kelly's Story:
The most common response I get when I tell people that I homeschool my children is, “Oh really...I could never do that.” It's kind of a funny reaction in a way. I used to feel frustrated when someone would say that to me, but then I realized that I used to think the same thing myself.
We didn't set out to homeschool. I had imagined that once both my children were settled into school, I could return to work; that was our plan, but things didn't work out that way for us.
It was baffling at the time, but school just did not work for our daughter.
At first, I blamed myself, I thought maybe we were doing something wrong. Our poor child was miserable. She would throw huge fits about getting ready and having to go to school in the morning, she fought and cried and refused to do homework in the evening, she struggled in class, and she wasn't making any friends.
We didn't know why this was happening, because we didn't have a diagnosis yet, but we knew school wasn't working.
We pulled her out of a traditional classroom halfway through grade one and enrolled her in an alternative program through Edmonton Public. She did much better there, but it still wasn't quite the right fit for her.
Luckily for us, through this program we met a lot of families who used to homeschool and they shared their stories and experiences with us. I realized over the summer that this was something that I wanted to try, and I am so glad that we did.
It was at this time that we received a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome and Sensory Processing Disorder.
Homeschooling our daughter has been the best decision that we have made for her.
Instantly, her anxiety was eliminated.
Now, she is able to focus and work on her own schedule. We can easily adapt curriculum to fit her learning style and strengths, and we have so much support from her facilitator. She is currently working at grade level, and is enrolled in a lot of classes and activities.
Homeschool has been such a positive and rewarding experience for our family, that we have since taken our son out of school and homeschool him as well.
We love the flexible schedule, and I am so lucky to be able to spend so much time with my children.
Many parents think of unpleasant experiences they have had with their children, struggling with and arguing about homework, and envision that this is what homeschool would be like for them. I wish to assure you that this isn't the case. We found that once her overall anxiety was reduced, our daughter's behaviour was much more agreeable. She was not suffering from meltdowns anymore, and started to enjoy learning. She was no longer exhausted and irritable much of the time, she became calm and happy.
Cathy's Story:
Our decision to homeschool our son with Aspergers Syndrome was more of a reaction to a school setting that I felt would cause him serious harm, than due to a belief that it was the best thing to do! I didn’t feel I would have the patience that was required to homeschool, but when the school environment became unbearable for us all, we knew we needed to make a change. My husband and I made the decision to pull him out of school near the end of grade 5 and it turned out to be the right answer for our son and our family.
We enrolled our son in a teacher directed, fully online Grade 6 program. This meant that he would access all his courses on the computer – there was no planning on my part in terms of the curriculum, activities or learning. He was doing the same work all kids in Grade 6 were doing. If we decided that homeschooling was not for us, he could walk back into a classroom at any time and would not have to catch up. We also had a teacher at the other end – I wasn’t the one telling our son what needed to be done – the teacher was. It removed me from that role and allowed me to simply help him with the assigned work. If we were stuck on a subject or I needed someone else to provide him some feedback – the teacher was available.
Our first year was a bit of a learning experience...we were both still in the “school mindset” and my son wanted to stick to school hours. Even with keeping fairly regular hours, homeschooling gave him the flexibility to sleep in when he had a late night or take days off when he was all caught up on his work. We have been able to modify his work day when he is struggling, or take breaks when needed to remain productive. He can eat his favourite foods (prepared fresh!) at lunch or chew gum during math if he chooses!
We have taken advantage of onsite programming offered by our school division and our son participates in classes, field trips, workshops and science fairs. Whenever he needed me to be in the classroom or on the fieldtrip – it was never a problem. The staff at the school who support us in homeschooling have been exceptional. He enjoys the time he spends with other homeschoolers and manages to regularly get together with three good friends from his years in elementary school.
We still have our challenges. Sometimes the rigidity and inflexible thinking get in the way of accomplishing the task at hand. Our son struggles with his emotions and with some aspects of learning. We have the occasional meltdown, but nowhere near the stress and disruption that were a part of our lives when he was in school. The anxiety from being in a large school and busy classroom is gone. He is happy, confident and a pleasure to be around.
Homeschooling is not for every family. Every child with Aspergers Syndrome is unique and they each have different challenges. It can also be a financial burden on a family to lose one income – that alone will add significant stress to an already stressful situation. It is for this reason, that although I embrace homeschooling, I strongly feel there need to be educational options for our children –whether it is a public school program or private school. Homeschooling should be a choice parents can make, not the last option when school no longer works.
We are planning to do another post about how-to's of homeschooling in the near future.
If you have any questions, comments, or would like to share your experiences, please feel free to add them below, we would love to hear from you!
Sincerely, Kelly and Cathy
